“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” —Ephesians 5:25

Like you, I’ve tried to teach my sons to become men who love their wives well. But this thing is too important to leave to their remembering. Just in case they miss something, I want them to have the heart of my guidance in their hands.

So I have decided to write a letter to my sons. In this hurry-up world, I hope there will be a quiet day for you to sit and write your son a letter too. 

The beginning of my letter goes like this:

Dear Son,

For so long I wondered how in the world you’d ever learn to love a wife. Don’t boys need to see a husband’s love in action? Shouldn’t they live in a house where love is? See what married love looks like?

Our little family was without a husband, but God, in His mercy and the immeasurable riches of His grace, sent Scott Pharr to love us all. After seven years as Scott’s wife, I can tell you he walks with wisdom and grace. You’d do well to follow his example. 

From Scott you can learn some of the ways to show your wife you love her:

1. Wake up every day and ask God to be your joy. I cannot fully describe to you the blessing of being married to a happy man. 

2. Give her the grace God has given to you. As often as you have received it.

3. Pray with her and pray for her. Study the Bible together.

4. Pitch in with the little things. You’re both on the same team. Take out the trash and unload the dishwasher and fold dry towels. 

5. Learn her favorites and remember them often.

6. Acquire a bad memory as soon as you can. Forget to remind your wife of all the things she’s done wrong.

7. When she cries, do not walk away. Move closer.

8. Be eager to talk to her at the end of the day. Save some of your experiences to share only with her.

9. Listen to her. When you feel like you want to jump in with an answer for her struggle, learn to ask her a question instead. 

10. Work with her quirks just like they don’t matter. Keep the little things little.

11. Make her laugh sometime every day. And if she should ever stop laughing, work and work and dig and dig until you’ve found her laughter again.

12. Look at her like you love her. Never stop doing that.

My beautiful son, be a man who loves his wife and family just as Christ loved and sacrificed for His church.

By God’s grace, you are able. Go love her well. It will be my joy to watch you shine.

I love you so, 

Mom

Adapted from 52 Things Sons Need from Their Moms by Angela Thomas